Now that it’s official – Jeremy Lin is coming back to Houston – I’m posting this in hopes of coaxing him for a visit to our church – and to consider attending, and after the basketball thing to come on pastoral staff. C’mon man, it’ll be awesome. Now in case you’re wondering, Lin is indeed a solid Christian guy, so he’ll be looking for a church here in Houston. So w/o further delay, here are my Top 10 Reasons Why Lin Should Attend Harvest:
10. We’ve changed the “C” in Harvest Community Church to Harvest Chinese Church. Just for you baby.
8. Chinese men know that Korean women make great brides, aye Dave Chiu, Eric Cheung, and Victor Guo? – now in case my female Chinese friends are saying, “What does that say about us Chinese-American women?!” – I would personally respond – “Just think – what does that say about us Korean-American men?!”
7. I will personally mentor you on the road to your pastoral ambitions. Once I get things figured out myself first. Hey. We’ve both got a long career ahead of us.
6. You could go to one of the big box churches and totally go unrecognized – “look a tall asian man – he must be Yao Ming.”
5. You could go to an Asian-American church like ours and totally assimilate like the Borg.
4. Your academic pedigree could certainly possibly make you a viable candidate for admission. I don’t know… What were your grades like at Harvard?
3. “Jeremy Lin” is a great Asian name for admission into our church roster. At least it’s not “Tap Some Bong.”
2. At our Asian-American church, we welcome you “just as you are.” So long as you bring a championship to our city. No second place. First place only.
1. We’re the only Asian-American church that is truly multilingual – Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Spanish, English, and Texan. We’re fixin to bring y’all out here, ya hear darlin’?