10 Reasons Why Jeremy Lin Should Come To Harvest

Now that it’s official – Jeremy Lin is coming back to Houston – I’m posting this in hopes of coaxing him for a visit to our church – and to consider attending, and after the basketball thing to come on pastoral staff. C’mon man, it’ll be awesome. Now in case you’re wondering, Lin is indeed a solid Christian guy, so he’ll be looking for a church here in Houston. So w/o further delay, here are my Top 10 Reasons Why Lin Should Attend Harvest:

10. We’ve changed the “C” in Harvest Community Church to Harvest Chinese Church. Just for you baby.

9. Your doppelganger is here – and really; w/o the glasses & bowtie he really does look a lot like you, sans the height:

8. Chinese men know that Korean women make great brides, aye Dave Chiu, Eric Cheung, and Victor Guo? – now in case my female Chinese friends are saying, “What does that say about us Chinese-American women?!” – I would personally respond – “Just think – what does that say about us Korean-American men?!”

7. I will personally mentor you on the road to your pastoral ambitions. Once I get things figured out myself first. Hey. We’ve both got a long career ahead of us.

6. You could go to one of the big box churches and totally go unrecognized – “look a tall asian man – he must be Yao Ming.”

5. You could go to an Asian-American church like ours and totally assimilate like the Borg.

4. Your academic pedigree could certainly possibly make you a viable candidate for admission. I don’t know… What were your grades like at Harvard?

3. “Jeremy Lin” is a great Asian name for admission into our church roster. At least it’s not “Tap Some Bong.”

2. At our Asian-American church, we welcome you “just as you are.” So long as you bring a championship to our city. No second place. First place only.

1. We’re the only Asian-American church that is truly multilingual – Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Spanish, English, and Texan. We’re fixin to bring y’all out here, ya hear darlin’?